I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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