I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize