winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
