it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
