So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
