Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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