drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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