At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
