those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
