Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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