wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
