Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
