Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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