My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
They took my balls.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
