drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
