im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
