Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
