All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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