so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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