You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
