But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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