I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize