Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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