No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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