To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
