Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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