Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize