is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
