Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
