k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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