its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
