i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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