In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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