I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize