Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
