It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
