Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
