i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Congratulations! We have a period
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