He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
