i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
