Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
