Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
