If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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