doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
