She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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