Jerry, you need to find god
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
