Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
