he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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