actually, I'm a sock model
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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