its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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