i think i have herpe
just one?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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