I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
