S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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