yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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