Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
