yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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