____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bring me that man meat
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
