Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
