im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize