Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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