1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
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