I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
