Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
