I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
