I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
